Ito ang nagagawa ng first wedding anniversary. You suddenly become a guru…not.
Now I don’t claim to be an expert of some sort on such colossal topics. In fact if I were to write self-help books they probably wouldn’t make it past the editor. But being married for a year now (yep, this exact same date last year! hurrah!) and already with a little infant as an addition to the family (baby bear Iko!), I should perhaps, at the very least, have valid basis for my opinion. My husband has taught me, sometimes on purpose and most of the time without him knowing, a lot about what one should note down when trying to find someone they’re willing to get stuck with for all eternity. ^___^
Find someone imperfect with a desire to be perfected.
My husband is not perfect. Let me start with that. Well, I know no one who would claim otherwise when they speak of theirs. I married him with flaws and he married me with flaws (with more, I believe) and we recognized those and decided to work on them together. A year later, he still plays DOTA every now and then and I still raise my voice every now and then. But we are each other’s constant reminder, because we know we are not perfect and we need to be reminded.
Find someone with a heart of a child.
I know, I know this is hard, and cheesy. But this is true and vital. With marriage there is a tendency to just get tired of things and of routines especially when the going gets tough. But when your husband is a child at heart, surprises will never run out, fun will never stop, and laughter will never be missed. It’s refreshing to live with someone who can turn an awful day upside down just by his antics (Ex. a really loud and looong fart. Hah!) . And lets face it, in this life of demanding work and exhausting troubles, we all need play, and who knows play better than a child’s heart?
Find someone who loves you, and I really mean Head-over-heels/You are my world/I can’t live without you kind of love.
News flash: This kind of love exists and it’s as real as the pain in your in grown nails. Love songs that tirelessly talk about such kind of devotion are not there for nothing. When you find and marry someone who actually makes all the love songs finally make sense to you, then half of your quest is made light. To me, everything can be a lie but my husband’s unconditional love for me will always be my basic truth. And because he loves me the way he does, doubts and fears take the sidewalk and faith and happiness run the main road of my life.
Marriage is not easy, and to have the best companion is a must. When we make our choice, it always comes with the other end of the stick. I’ve realized that acceptance and learning are both important. And because I have my husband, I’ve realized that in the end, happiness becomes a constant choice, with conscious effort from both of us to make it last for all eternities – because that’s how much we love each other. 🙂